Life Happens
by Bensons-Stabler
Summary: The wedding is fast approaching when suddenly life throws another wrench in Bella and Edwards love story. Secrets will be kept and lies will be told. You know what they say. . Life happens when you are making other plans.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't know where this is going yet but I am open to suggestions. I love reviews and comments. . I thrive on them. . **

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. . Stephanie Meyer does. . they just star in my imagination  
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"_We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America_." I mumbled under my breath desperately trying to divert my attention away from what I was doing. I felt like a total ogre or better yet one of those heinous circus sideshows. Oh how I hated dresses!

"Bella will you please quit fidgeting, I would hate to accidentally stick you with one of these pins! And while I am at it, why on earth are you reciting the preamble to the constitution?" came the beautifully melodic voice of the dark haired pixie darting maniacally around me with a cushion full of pins.

She was dangerous like this. No one got in the way of Alice and fashion, especially as of late. I seriously think she has become possessed by the dead wedding fairy. I had once and only once tried to argue with her about mine and Edward's wedding and I swear her eyes rolled back in her head and she sprouted horns and all because I didn't understand the need for a dress. I wanted to wear a nice pant suit, no need to call attention to the extreme klutziness that was me. I was a sideshow in their sea of beauty already so why did I need yet another marker pointing me out? I was the one dull rock in a sea of diamonds. Yea, like that didn't make me stick out like a sore thumb.

"It's the assignment for Mr. Burns Alice. Remember our government homework?" I flung back. "Besides if I do my homework then I certainly don't have to look in the mirror, at least until you finish playing the latest version of Bella barbie" My eyes darted up and I flinched seeing the alien in the mirror in that dress staring back at me. It was a beautiful dress with all of its old world elegance and lace. I didn't do it justice.

" We are supposed to recite the Preabmle to the Constitution as part of our final."

"Why do I need to memorize it now when I can have Jasper teach me later? His methods are quite unorthodox but he is such a great teacher and besides Bella he was there." She said with a wicked glint in her eye.

"Ewwww Alice that is not need to know information! I am sure Jasper is very persuasive but I would rather not hear about the finer points of his teaching abilities."

Her resounding chuckle did nothing to divert the tidal wave of pictures that flooded into my brain. I did not need those visual images. Alice and Jasper. Jasper and Alice. Jasper teaching Alice. A shiver ran down my spine, it didn't even bear thinking about. Closing my eyes tight I began to wonder how I got roped into yet another dress fitting. How many did a person need to make sure one dress fit right? It seems like she had me here on this silly pedestal in Carlisle's office every day. Her powers of persuasion were un paralleled in the Cullen house and besides, this time she had help. Her contagious happiness and perkiness affected Emmett whom she had enlisted to capture me and bring me here.

I was just minding my own business when BAM! There was Emmett bounding out of nowhere, tossing me head first into my truck, and trapping me there! I started to protest only to have my new radio turned up and a ridiculous rendition of Drop It Like It's Hot blared so loudly my voice was drowned out. I loved my siblings enough to indulge them most of the time but this really was getting out of hand.

"Quit muttering under your breath Bella, we can all hear you. You are done. Let me go ahead and take the dress off of you. I am hiding it this time, I don't want it to magically disappear."

Filled with relief and excitement that it was finally over and I could go find Edward, I jumped off the pedestal at mach fifty and managed to do what only I could. I tripped over air and landed very ungracefully in a heap in Alice's rock hard arms.

"Silly little Bella, what am I going to do with you? Stand still and put your arms above your head."

And just like that, before I could even blink, the dress was gone leaving me standing there in nothing but my underwear.

"Oh and Bella, I would hurry if I were you. Carlisle will be home in less than 2 minutes." she tossed back on her way out of the door.

Leave it to Alice to drop something like that. I walked toward the desk that held my clothes and retrieved my shoes from the floor just in front of it. I was walking carefully to the couch and was just about to sit and dress when Carlisle burst into the room and came to a complete stop inches from my face. I propelled backward with surprise and landed in a tangle of my own arms and legs onto the couch. There are very few moments in a girl's life that are more embarrassing than your future father in law finding you half naked in his study. While trying valiantly to recover from the shock of his presence, I saw a brief flash of something indescribable cross his face. My eyes were to slow however and before I could discern what it was, it was gone.

"Oh Bella, I didn't know you were in here. Was my daughter making you try on the dress again?" he asked in a tone so rushed I was sure he would be blushing if he still possessed the ability.

By then I had untangled my self and was sitting there gaping at him like a total fool and unable to move for the embarrassment that was washing over me. So I just sat there staring at him, clutching my clothes to myself wearing only my trademark blush and underwear with my mouth wide open. I wished desperately to be able to move and get out of here to the safety of Edwards room to dress, but he kept staring at me. I want so badly to freeze time and understand the flicker in his eyes earlier or at least why the unflapable Carlisle Cullen couldn't manage to work his voice box either. I know why I couldn't talk. Duh Bella! You are half dressed and staring at him like he is the anti-Christ.

"Um. . .uh. . yeah she made me try it on again. Apparently it needs yet another alteration."

His eyes swept over me from my head to my toes before they landed on mine."Well, you have lost some weight Bella. Are you sure you have you been eating properly?"

"Yea I guess so. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything going on that I forget and others I am just not hungry. Is. . " I stammered yet again not knowing if I was allowed to carry on a conversation with him while I was in my current state of undress.

"Go ahead Bella and ask. You know I will do my level best to answer you and relieve any of the concerns you may have. I know this is a lot to take on, even with Alice's and everyone elses help." he added in a level tone.

"Is it normal to feel like this, like not wanting to eat and being so jittery?"

"Of course it is my dear. Your life is getting ready to go through some more radical and very drastic changes and it will just take a while for your mind and body to catch up with the pace. But don't for one second let that bull headed son of mine bully you into something you don't want to do or aren't ready for." He said with a graceful and tentative step forward. He grasped my upper arms in his beautiful hands momentarily forgetting my state of undress. I gasped as the cold registered and his close proximity sank in. He only then seemed to realize I was still standing in here in his study half naked.

As luck would have it Emmett happened by the study at just the wrong time and stopped gaping. Oh no. Please don't do it Emmett. Please! But as luck would have it, I had none. A loud wolf whistle peeled from his lips as Carlisle and I just stood there, both gaping at him. Once again my blush heated my cheeks and with an un characteristic snort followed by a small chuckle he dropped my arms and moved away.

"Damn little sister, if I had known you were hiding that banging body under all those clothes you wear, I would have had you undressed a long time ago! You are smokin! Edward is one lucky little bastard. Say can I have a hug too? Please Bella?" he said advancing on me with that big goofy grin on his face and mischief lighting his eyes.

"Uh thanks Emmett but how about we forgo that hug until later. I think I would rather put my clothes on if you don't mind."

"Aww Bella you never let me have any fun! A man has to get his kicks where he can." He said waggling his eyebrows at me.

I couldn't help it, I laughed. I loved Emmett and all his goofy single minded tricks. I could always count on him to give me a pick me up when I needed it. Carlisle brushed past me and stopped beside his son, but before any more could be spoken, we heard an unholy growl from downstairs.

"EMMETT! There had better be a darn good reason why you are picturing my fiancé in black lingerie with a whip!"

Never missing a beat Emmett called back to Edward. "Aww Eddie it was harmless. . she was stripping and I just happened upon the open door. I plead the fifth so blame Carlisle. . he found her first!"

"WHAT?!?!?!" he yelled as he suddenly appeared in the doorway next to Carlisle and Emmett.

Man it just kept getting better and better much to my dismay. So here I was still standing in my underwear in the middle of the study clutching my clothing with all but one male member of my new family gawking at me from the doorway. Well, all except for Carlisle who never did anything so undignified even if he was watching me.

Getting frustrated I dropped my clothes into a disordered heap at my feet and threw my hands up in the air. "Aw hell guys, why don't you call everyone else in here too? I am sure they are just dying to see me in my underwear too!"

Emmett being Emmett boomed "Hey Jazz you have got to come see this. I found Bella in her underwear and man is she hot." He was rewarded with an answering chuckle from Jasper and a low growl from Edward who swatted him. "Grab the girls on the way too would ya bro."

Jasper and Alice appeared at the same time followed by Esme and Rosalie.

"You better have a good reason for calling me up here. I was in the middle of a good book." She said haughtily like me walking around in my underwear was an everyday thing.

"Very nice Bella." Alice and Jasper called together.

"But it would look so much hotter in red. Oo Oo Oo and we can get some of those nice high heels too. We need to go shopping." Alice said beginning to jump lightly in place clapping her hands. I groaned. That was the last thing I needed or wanted, another shopping trip with Alice. I did love my sister though, but I did not adore her 8 hour long shopping sprees with me as the mannequin.

If Edward could, I imagine he would be 12 different shades of red by now. As it was he was visibly vibrating with anger. My face, I had decided, was going to be permanently red from now on.

" I am ashamed of all of you! I know I didn't raise you all to eavesdrop on poor unsuspecting females who are trying to dress." Esme said in a tone only mothers can use. "Now shoo and leave Bella to dress in peace before I lead each and every one of you out by your ears! " Eyeing them she quickly added. " and don't you think I won't Emmett McCarty Cullen. I have your number."

"Thanks Esme." I said as their forms retreated one by one. I bent to pick up my clothes and proceeded to redress. I had on my favorite pair of jeans today and a Rolling Stones short sleeved T-shirt and as I stared down the hall I snorted. What a family I was marrying into. But oh how I adored each and every one of them, crazy quirks and all.

Carlisle's behavior was still puzzling me and as I walked down the hall and down the flight of stairs to rejoin my family, I wondered what it all could mean. I took the stairs one at a time rubbing my arms not knowing why they still tingled so from where his hands had been.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:**_** I feel humbled by the reviews. . at least one of you entered my mind for a brief second. . . heheh if you can't tell this chapter is Carlisle's take on the last chapter.** **Thank you for the reviews guys! Keep them coming. .I love hearing what you think**. .

**Reviews are like Jasper. . .they make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.**

**Disclaimer:** **They aren't mine.. . only in my dreams . . they are property of Stephanie Meyer. .lucky lucky woman. .I want to borrow Carlisle for a while**

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I was watching the clock as it oh so slowly counted down the minutes and seconds. Time was such a funny thing, there was so much of it and yet no one ever seemed to have enough. Normally the hospital was my safe haven, the one place in all the chaos that made sense to me. I was unusually antsy today for some reason and I couldn't wait to get home to escape into the quiet and calm that was my study. My study was my inner sanctum, it held my books and pictures, and just about everything I treasured. It held the story of my existence from my early days with Marcus, Caius, and Aro, and up until now where we were getting ready to add yet another member to our family.

Things were just as crazy and hectic at home as they were here in the emergency room. Forks, Washington, I had discovered, was a very accident prone place. With Bella and Edwards wedding fast approaching, Alice was getting down right crazy. It seemed that she had Bella up on a pedestal pinning the dress here or there because it didn't fit quite right enough to suit her. I smiled a little to myself as an unbidden image of Alice flitting around Bella with a cushion full of pins filtered into my long dead brain.

The dress was a beautiful creation of old world elegance and lace and Bella was absolutely breath taking in it. She didn't know, of course, just how beautiful she was or what kind of power she held over all of our long dead hearts. She made me believe in humanity, that kindness and acceptance and true goodness still lived on in very rare people. I still can't quite believe she will be a part of our family. She chose us and each and every one of us bear the mark that her presence has brought to and left on our lives. Alice did a wonderful job on the dress and she well knew it. I should make it a point to tell her anyway, it suited Bella perfectly.

A picture of her entered my mind and I couldn't help but smile. She saw herself as pitiful and plain but the rest of us saw her as the most beautiful being to walk the earth. Maybe it wasn't conventional beauty like this generation capitalized on but she was beautiful all the way to her soul. I knew this was the only objection Edward had to her being changed. He didn't want to see her lose her humanity and that beauty she carried within her.

Glancing back up at the slow clock my eyes traced the flitting movement of the second hand as it ticked closer and closer to quitting time. I stood and gathered my things commending myself on my supreme skill of being able to move at a disgustingly human pace. I murmured my good nights and good byes to the nurses as I passed them on the way out of the door. As I reached the staff parking lot I saw my beautiful 1969 vintage mustang GT waiting for me. Rosalie and Alice always picked at the fact that I drove this old car instead of newer ones with their million and one amenities. Truth be told, I loved the simplicity of the old thing from the graceful lines and pure power to the old school seats within. They just didn't make cars like these anymore. It really was a tragedy. However, thanks to Rosalie's mechanical genius, she still ran like an absolute dream.

I made my way home on auto pilot. I couldn't wait to enter my sanctuary. I pulled into the garage and cut the engine.

"Welcome home honey. I trust you had a good shift?" I heard Esme call to me from within.

"It was alright Esme dear. I am going up to my study." I called back very softly. Somewhere within the recesses of the house I heard quiet laughter as I flew up the stairs at the peak of my speed. I didn't need to hide my abilities here, none of us did. It was one of the many reasons we chose the floor to ceiling windows when we had this house built.

I peeled into my safe haven and straight into the very shocked form of my future daughter in law who just happened to have been the object of my thoughts the majority of the day. I skidded to an abrupt halt mere inches from her face. To say she was shocked to say the least but not as shocked as I to find her here of all places and wearing that. Or should I say the lack thereof? She stood before me clad only in the most alluring pieces of black lingerie I had ever seen and a very impressive blush. She smelled absolutely delectable and I could feel her heat seeping into every pore of my being. A sudden and unexpected pang of jealousy swept through my veins. My "son" was one lucky son of a bitch. Sanity clenched my brain as quickly as the jealousy had as I realized that he could hone in on my thoughts I wiped all traces out of my head and opted to recite some horribly crude song Emmett had taught me instead.

_I'm so addicted to_

_all the things you do_

_when you're going down on me_

_in between the sheets_

_all the sounds you make_

_with every breath you take_

_its not like anything_

_when you're loving me_

"Oh Bella, I didn't know you were in here. Was my daughter making you try on the dress again?" I asked her in a rushed tone desperate to cover up my embarrassment at my previous train of thought. Smooth move Carlisle, that was real smooth. I was so thankful that Alice had taught me how to shield myself from Edwards' ability.

"Um. . .uh. . yeah. She made me try it on again. Apparently it needs yet another alteration." She stammered. Her embarrassment was very evident in the way of her crimson stained cheek bones. They were beautiful. She was beautiful.

My eyes swept over her taking in every crevice and committing it to memory before raising my eyes back to hers.

"You have lost some weight Bella, have you been eating properly?" I asked her hoping my voice came across as professional as it always did when I was assessing my patients.

"Yea I guess so. Sometimes I get so caught up in everything going on that I forget and others I am just not hungry. Is. . "she stuttered. She was still so clearly embarrassed that I felt sorry for her. It was taking all I had not to notice her lithe beautiful frame or the way her hair hung in gentle waves around her shoulders.

Shake it off Carlisle. This is your sons' fiancé for petes sake! Then I made the mistake of looking deeper into her eyes. What I saw in them stripped thought and reason from me and I stepped forward and took her upper arms in my cold hands. I shrugged off the zings of whatever it was coursing through me before I continued.

"Go ahead Bella and ask. You know I will do my level best to answer you and relieve any of the concerns you may have. I know this is a lot to take on, even with Alice's and everyone elses' help."

"Is it normal to feel like this, like not wanting to eat and being so jittery?"

"Of course it is my dear. Your life is getting ready to go through yet some more radical changes and it will just take a while for your mind and body to catch up with the pace. But don't for one second let that bull headed son of mine bully you into something you don't want to do or aren't ready for." I told her.

A small breathy gasp burst from her lips and her head turned downward to focus on the place where my hands were resting but before I could jerk them away Emmett appeared in the doorway. Emmett being true to form let out a loud wolf whistle before opening his mouth.

"Damn little sis if I had known you were hiding that under all those clothes I would have had you undressed a long time ago! You are smokin! Edward is one lucky little bastard. Say can I have a hug too? Please Bella?" he said advancing on both Bella and I with a huge. And pardon my language, shit eating grin on his face. Man my middle son was rubbing off on me. I would have to watch my language, it simply wasn't gentlemanly to think in such a manner.

"Uh thanks Emmett but I would rather put my clothes on if you don't mind." She answered.

"Aww Bella you never let me have any fun! A man has to get his kicks where he can." He said to her with his best pouty voice.

Bella began to laugh in earnest; apparently she found my second sons' antics amusing. I just wanted to extract myself from this situation as painlessly as possible which would be hard now that Emmett was involved. Seeing an opening I took it. I quickly dropped my hands from Bella's arms and moved away while their attention was diverted. I walked over to my son clenching and unclenching my fists because the searing heat from her skin lingered. I was puzzled over what this meant. She had this pull over us all it seemed and I wasn't quite sure I liked it.

"EMMETT!" came the unholy growl from downstairs "There had better be a good reason why you are picturing my fiancé in black lingerie" Edward called. He had been playing X-box with Jasper when I came in.

"Aww Eddie it was harmless. . she was stripping and I just happened upon the open door. Blame Carlisle. . he saw it too!" he called back and I cringed as unwanted visions of a scantily clad Bella pole dancing came forth from my imagination. Crud!

_1-2-3-4-5 _

_Once I caught a fish alive_

_6-7-8-9-10_

_Then I let him go again_

_Why did you let him go?_

_Because he bit my finger so._

_Which finger did he bite?_

_This little finger on the right._

That was one of the more amusing rhymes I had heard a few decades ago. It always made me laugh and disgusted Edward to the point of sickness. He had an un natural fear of fish which he claims was from a bad trip to the ocean with his parents when he was smaller.

"WHAT?!?!?!" he boomed as he suddenly appeared in the doorway next to us taking in the scene before him. Poor Bella I thought silently to myself.

She suddenly dropped her clothes and flung her hands up in the air before saying in a voice that brought pride to our hearts. . . "Aw hell why don't you call everyone else? I am sure they are just dying to see me in my underwear too!" she started impatiently tapping her foot. We all stood there gaping at her until that statement registered and being the literal creature that he is Emmett did.

"Hey Jazz you have got to come see this. I found Bella in her underwear and man is she hot." He called. "Bring Esme, Alice, and Rose too would ya." He was rewarded with a menacing growl from Edward and a low chuckle from Jasper. This whole situation really was getting quite out of control.

They all appeared side by side in a matter of split seconds.

"You better have a good reason for calling me up here. I was in the middle of a good book." Rosalie grumbled haughtily. She really did like Bella, she just had a hard way of expressing it at times. She couldn't understand how Bella could throw away her humanity and choose this life when she would give anything to have hers back.

"Very nice Bella." Alice and Jasper called together.

"But it would look so much hotter in red. Oo Oo Oo and we can get some of those nice high heels too. We need to go shopping." Alice said beginning to jump lightly in place clapping her hands. I laughed inwardly. We all knew about Alice's legendary shopping trips with Bella as the dress up doll. Poor Bella.

I turned my attention briefly to Edward who was visibly vibrating with anger. I would be too if my whole family were standing here gawking at my fiancé. But really we couldn't help it.

"I am ashamed of you all! I know I didn't raise you all to eavesdrop on poor unsuspecting females who are trying to dress." Esme said in a tone only mothers can use. "Now shoo and leave Bella to dress in peace before I lead each and every one of you out by your ears! And don't you think I won't Emmett McCarty Cullen. I have your number." She said eyeing us all in what she hoped was an intimidating manner. I really did adore my wife, she was so calm and collected and dignified.

"Thanks Esme." She called meekly.

We dispersed and I slowly made my way down the hall to mine and Esme's room where I could sit quietly until Bella dressed and left my study. I sought the sanctuary now more than ever. I heard her footsteps sound down the hall and continue down the steps where Edward and Jasper had resumed their game with Emmett loudly commenting on it in their midst.

I darted back into my study and inhaled deeply. It still smelled of her. The glorious smell of strawberries and flowers clung to every corner of the room. My reactions to her today puzzled me. I had touched her countless times and nothing but today in an effort to comfort her, I reached for her and heat zinged up my arms and brought every nerve ending in my eternally dead body to life once again.

Even now, moments after I had dropped her arms and walked away, my hands and body still tingled. The truth hit me fast and hard. I wanted her. I wanted her with a violence and passion that went beyond reason and I could do absolutely nothing about it.

Emmett was right. Edward was one lucky SOB and I was one pathetic excuse for a father. What was that saying? Oh yea I remember.

Life happens when you're making other plans.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Ok Ok I know it has taken me a couple of weeks to get this up and I apologize thouroughly on my hands and knees. Between school work and two sick kids and more doctors appointments than I can keep up with I got a little side tracked. I will try to do better in the future. **

**Disclaimer: The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer, my imagination is only playing with them.**

**Remember, reviews are like Emmett warm and cuddly!  
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I made my way downstairs still puzzling my reaction to Carlisle's touch. The constant tingling in my arms where he had grasped them for a few short moments was still there. It made me overly aware of my surroundings and my legs felt like the consistency of grape jelly, which made walking down the stairs so much harder. My normal grace and skill, or lack thereof, were made even worse by this unknown feeling. I was deeply disturbed, so much so that as my foot hit the third to last stair I lost my balance and pitched forward my arms flailing in a fruitless effort to regain my balance.

The boys, who were lost in a rousing game of Halo, never heard my silent squeak above their game. So, just like that my face hit the floor with surprising ease. I managed to roll myself slightly to the left so that my chin and the side of my face caught the majority of the blow. I screeched loudly as I came to a abrupt halt on the floor and six heads snapped sideways in response. Man today just wasn't my day.

Before my vision even had time to overcome the massive jolt the floor had dealt to my skull, I was surrounded by five pairs of eyes and a barrage of voices that left me no time or room to speak. That was probably a good thing I thought to myself because I wasn't sure I could find my voice.

"Bella my dear are you ok?" Esme asked leaning over me wiping her hands on her apron.

"Bella oh my gosh are you ok?" Alice squeaked. "You are going to have a black eye you know. It is already starting to swell."

Great, just great! It was just over a week and a half to my wedding day and now there was a chance I was going to show up looking like I had been in a bar fight. Jasper just grimaced having felt the mix of my pain and embarrassment and everyone else's staggering concern. Before I knew it I was swept up in the arms of the being that was my whole world.

Right here, right now, with my face throbbing and my ears ringing, I was reminded of how lucky I was to have him. He was always there when I least expected with his misguided sense of what was right or wrong for me and rescuing me just when I thought there was no hope. Those months without him had been the darkest of my life.

Having him hold me was the end of my rainbow, all of my dreams wrapped into this one beautiful person. Being this close to him always made me want more and even when I was in pain and longed for an ice pack and some aspirin I could feel the slow burning begin in the pit of my stomach.

That thought was all it took to turn the light bulb on upstairs. Man I really wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. I suddenly understood what my reaction meant and why. I was completely and utterly attracted to my future father in law from his golden blond hair to his perfectly sculpted legs to the very tips of his gentle fingers as they worked miracles on the sick. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks and I gasped. My knight took it as a cry of pain and hugged me tighter and planted a kiss on the top of my head before he stalked to the left.

Edward carried me to the couch and gently laid me down and turned his head and bellowed.

"Carlisle!"

A split second later the previous object of my thoughts appeared beside him and in front of me. Not realizing that I had yet again harmed myself he miraculously was turned towards Edward and didn't see my face flush. I glanced around the room with one eye taking in my future family and wondering if they would all hate me if they knew. I was so confused.

Jasper caught my eye and frowned. Darn it! I guess he picked up my worry and nervousness and complete and utter confusion at my newfound feelings. I moved restlessly and winced in pain and realized that Alice was right, my eye was swelling. I could barely open it now.

"Yes Edward what is it? What are all of you doing standing around like this? I thought I heard a rather colorful game of Halo going on." He asked with a small crooked grin. Had he always been that beautiful?

They all looked pointedly down at me and then there were those eyes, staring straight through me. I wasn't smart enough to look away so I held his gaze.

"My my Bella. You really did it this time didn't you?" he pulled his light pen out of his pocket. "Esme go get one of those nice steaks you defrosted for dinner please for Bella here to put on her eye. It will help with the swelling and discoloration. Now my dear follow my finger."

After he had finished that small task, he leaned over me and threaded his fingers into my hair and began probing the left side of my face, head, and neck gently. My eyes were still helplessly locked on his as he examined my head.

"There are no fractures but you will be sore for a while. Take it easy and stay in bed for a day or so just to be on the safe side. There seems to be no concussion but you did hit the floor hard enough."

My breath caught a little as his mouth lifted up at the corner and a fat cold steak was plopped onto my face. Quiet chuckles sounded around the room before a loud noise interrupted. All heads turned towards the noise which turned out to be Emmett.

"Ahem! Can I have your attention please?" he asked in all seriousness from his perch on Esme's coffee table.

"EMMETT CULLEN GET OFF MY COFFEE TABLE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" she practically screeched from her place off to the side of the couch where everyone except Jasper and Rosalie seemed to be hovering.

"Relax Esme I will buy you a new one."

"You better young man or I will get even." She said with a devious twinkle in her eye.

"I would like to recite a little poem in honor of our dear dear little Isabella here" he said with a smirk. As he cleared his throat Carlisle sank to the floor in front of me and sat down.

It was all I could do to keep my traitorous hands from reaching for his hair which looked so appealing. I darted a look at Edward who was sitting on the arm of the sofa idly running his fingers through my hair and smiling, presumably at the direction in which Emmett's thoughts were taking.

" I was walking down the hall one day." Emmett began theatrically spreading his arms wide. " Not bothering a soul. When suddenly out of nowhere came a huge flying bowl! It hit me in the head and knocked me to the ground. Concrete does nothing for ones posture this I soon found."

I couldn't help it; I started to giggle as he continued on with his rendition of the poem.

" I rose to my feet and looked around but the stairs tripped me and I fell back down. I drug myself up from the floor and got a pack of ice when fate decided my punishment for rising that day didn't yet suffice. I got no farther than a few more steps when the mean floor caught my foot and tripped me again. That made twice." Thoroughly pleased with himself and the maniacal laughter that was spewing from all corners of the room he took a short bow.

"Thank you, thank you very much. You've been a beautiful audience."

"Edward, Bella should lay down for a while and rest. At least until you get back from hunting or her dinner is ready. Emmett and Alice will go with you. Esme wants Rosalie to come to the store with her to retrieve a few things but Jasper and I will be here with her." Carlisle said.

"Sweet! Eddie my boy I bet I can bag more bear than you can mountain lion. You are going down pretty boy." Emmett chuckled earning a short smack on the back of his head from Rosalie. "OUCH! Aww Rose what was that for?" he pouted.

"You are so juvenile!" she spat with a grin following Esme out to the garage.

Looking at Edward I saw his mouth twitch before he said. "I hate it when you call me Eddie. You are so on!"

Edward gave Carlisle a short nod of acknowledgement before scooping me up smelly steak and all and carrying me up the stairs and laying me gently in the middle of the gorgeous four poster bed he had gotten especially for me. I felt like a princess and it was vaguely embarrassing.

I wanted this day to be over. It was full of uncomfortable memories and new and confusing emotions. I thought Edward was it for me but if that was the case then why did my body react to Carlisle so unexpectedly.

He bent over and kissed my forehead gently. " I will be back soon my own. Stay put until someone comes for you for dinner or I get back. Sing out if you need anything."

"Do I get a kiss before you leave? And in case you are wondering I meant a real one."

I watched the wheels turning carefully in his head before he bent and pressed his lips softly to mine before retreating. I didn't even have time to get my arms around his neck. I sighed and sank back into the pillows.

"Good luck. Hurry back." I called to his retreating form.

He half turned with a sexy smirk on his face, his lips turned up slightly at the corner with a wicked gleam in his darkening eyes.

"Thanks, they'll need it. Be back soon. Sing out if you need anything. Jasper is down the hall and Carlisle is pacing downstairs singing some vile song Emmett taught him in his head."

With that he was out the window and gone. I turned onto my side and curled around a pillow that held his scent, threw the steak out the window and closed my eyes. I must have slept eventually because the next thing I knew there was a gentle hand caressing the side of my face.

" MMMMmmm Edward I didn't think you would be back so soon. " I said sleepily turning toward the hand and curling into it instinctively before opening my eyes. Carlisle sat before me with wide eyes and his body ramrod straight and rigid with my face buried in his hand.

I gasped and pulled back before rolling onto my back and jerking up to sit straight. My eyes were wide and my heart was putting the Kentucky Derby winner to shame. I put my hand to my face where his had been, with awareness and embarrassment burning quick paths through my body.

"Carlisle I am so sorry! I thought Edward is back and I just didn't think." I rambled unable to look him in the eyes.

"Oh Bella don't apologize I shouldn't have touched you. I was just coming to get you for dinner and couldn't get you to wake up. You were so deeply asleep and then a piece of hair fell in your eyes and I was just going to move it and leave you to sleep." He stammered.

"Oh. Carlisle?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Earlier when we were talking, well we didn't get to finish our conversation. Can I ask you something else?"

"Of course!"

"I love Edward with all my heart but was there ever a time when you wanted someone else?" I said staring him straight in the eye and knowing he understood what I meant.

"Oh Bella." he said turning towards the window.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:**** The characters are property of Stephanie Meyer. . .I just take them out to play every once in a while.**

**A/N: RL is kicking my butt. I will try and get this finished in a week or so. . anyone want to be my beta? So like or hate let me know. . Reviews are like Carlisle they just make you feel better.**

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"I love Edward with everything I have, but was there ever a time when you wanted someone else?" she said.

Her eyes never left mine and were willing me to know her meaning. I did. I knew without a doubt that fate had played and unkind trick on her too. I could see the dawning realization that the same anguished emotions now plaguing me had also hit her as well.

"Oh Bella." I said softly as I turned toward the window. In an attempt to get a grip on myself, I shoved my hands into the deep recesses of my pockets and clenched them. I hope a little pain will turn my attention elsewhere. This was a secret fantasy and nightmare for every man all rolled into one. As fate would have it, this impossible situation was laid directly at my door.

How could I answer her honest question without damning everyone involved? There wasn't a single doubt in my mind that she had caught me staring helplessly at her earlier. . My body heart and mind were all tugging me in different directions screaming their answers and demanding to be heard. Never in all of my existence had I ever been so conflicted about what I wanted to do.

No, that is a bald faced lie. I wanted to take her beautiful face in my cold hands and kiss her until she moaned my name. I wanted to taste every soft inch of her skin and let it warm me. I wanted to give myself up to the wants and needs of the man within and show her the meaning of passion and want and helpless need. But to do so without hurting everyone that mattered most to me would be next to impossible. I reached deep within and plucked the voice of reason and steeled myself to turn and answer her.

I loved my wife, my mate, my companion, my Esme and though the last few hours had proved to me the true answer to Bella's' question but I wasn't going to tell her that. I was going to lie to her.

"Oh geez! What am I saying? What a silly question." She babbled mindlessly to herself. "Of course I had to open my big mouth and make everything so much worse. Leave it to me to do something insanely embarrassing at the absolute worst time ever."

It was another crazy quirk of hers that we all absolutely adored. She talked and babbled to herself when she was nervous or uncomfortable. A slight sound caught my attention and brought me out of my silent thoughts. With a start I realized she was crying softly to herself. Her head was turned downward and her hair was hiding her face from my view. She was wringing her hands in her lap as her shoulders silently shook with her tears.

Unable to stand it any longer, I pulled my hands out of my pockets and shoved them haphazardly through my hair. It was something I had seen Edward do time and time again. I crossed the room and perched myself lightly on the edge of the bed my son had purchased and specially made for the lovely creature before me.

I slid a careful finger under her chin and forced her face upward in effort to make her downcast eyes meet mine. As soon as her eyes met mine, I dropped my hand. It felt like it was on fire just from the scant seconds it had spent next to her skin. What a cruel trick fate had played on us.

Holding her beautifully deep chocolate eyes I spoke. "Bella, you never have to be embarrassed with me. Nothing you could say or do would make me think any less of you. It is what families are for."

"I know that." She said. "But I feel so ashamed Carlisle. Edward is every girls' fantasy and somehow he wants me. For the life of me I cannot figure out why. I know he loves me but I just don't. . .oh listen at me. I am on a roll tonight with the silly and stupid."

"Bella, look at me and listen. Do I have your attention now?" I said threading my fingers through the hair on either side of her face.

She nodded her head quickly so I continued. "Ok, now listen carefully. No question can be silly or stupid unless you refuse to ask it. Now please tell me, what you were going to say."

"Ok, just don't laugh ok? Just for the record, diplomatic father answers aren't allowed either. I am just so sick of being babied."

Damn, she really wasn't going to make this any easier on me.

"I know Edward loves me without a single doubt. But, I cannot help but wonder if he wants me. You know really wants me. "

My shock must have been evident through my carefully constructed mask because a delightfully fragrant blush made its way to her cheeks.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that every time he kisses me, he pulls back. He is so careful and controlled all of the time that I have to wonder if he wants me physically. I know my blood tempts him, but does my body?"

"I don't know what to say."

"He says he will try to consummate our marriage while I am still human but I don't really believe that."

"Have you talked to Edward about this Bella?" I asked her growing more uncomfortable by the second with this conversation.

The thought of Edward not wanting her was a complete joke. I was sure everyone she came across wanted her. By wanting I mean I am sure they want everything about her. Even in her fragile human state, she was the most delectable creature on earth. Edward was the one that was lucky enough to get to keep her for eternity.

"I have tried Carlisle, I have tried." She said earnestly. "Even knowing and understanding his reason doesn't make this any easier."

I was by no means a stupid being but I found myself, for the second time in under an hour, uttering the words "What do you mean?"

" I mean that I still want what he isn't willing or doesn't want to give me."

I knew I shouldn't and had no right to ask but I couldn't seem to help myself. "What would that be Isabella?"

"Now that is a loaded question if I ever heard one."

"Answer it."

"I want to be wanted."

"Bella, we all know Edward wants you."

"Not just that way though. I mean that even if it is only one time while I am human, I want him to want me enough to not pull away. I want someone to want me so much that they would kill to have their mouth on mine."

I nodded and gulped uncomfortably. I would give just about everything I own to be the one to do just that. She turned her hands palm up and continued in earnest.

"You know? I want the heat and the passion and the passion and the complete loss of control that comes with giving yourself over to the intense and helpless want and need of another person. This sounds crazy and I know I will regret saying any of this tomorrow but here goes. I want to be back into a wall and kissed until my legs give way under me. I want to feel hands on my skin touching me like they can never get enough. I want to be wanted in the purest and simplest form. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Uh oh. Truth time was finally here. I knew what I had to do and I hated it, it went against every instinct in my body.

" No Bella I can't say that I do."

Her face fell at my words and I hate doing this to her. She caught my wandering eyes before asking.

"So you don't think it is possible to want someone else. I mean want and maybe love two different people in two completely different ways without demeaning the feelings for either person?"

"I can't answer that because I never have."

I watched as the light went out of her eyes. She crawled to the edge of the bed and threw the covers off of her legs. She slowly got to her feet and shoved her feet into her modest shoes and grabbed her bag before turning back to face me.

" Since I have managed to make a complete and total ass of myself more than once tonight, I think I would like to go home now. Where did he put my keys?"

"You don't have to do this Bella. Don't go. Not like this."

She raised her tear filled eyes to mine and my world skidded to a halt for the second time in over 300 years.

"Yes, I think I do." She said quietly and walked out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own the characters, they sadly belong to Stephanie Meyer.**

**A/N: I know, I am a slacker. Here is the next chapter. I want you all to give a big shout out to the wonderful person who beta'd this chapter for me. StormDragonfly! She rocks and is honest and isn't shy about correcting my horrible ramblings and writing. Give her a big hand! A huge thank you from me! As always, enjoy the chapter. Love it or hate it leave me a review and let me know. Next up we have a confrontation or two. .heheh**

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I turned from the bed, leaving a stoic and silent Carlisle behind to cross the room. I grabbed my navy blue Wal-Mart brand duffel bag from its place just inside the door, and slung it haphazardly over my neck so it came to rest across my body. I had to leave this house right now, tonight. The only problem with my thought process was the fact that I had absolutely no idea where my car keys were. I hadn't seen them since Emmett had herded me into my truck earlier on and brought me here. Without conscious effort, my thoughts drifted back to Carlisle. I wish I knew what he was thinking. Was he still frozen to the same spot I had left him in a few seconds ago? Did he feel as bewildered and confused as I did? No, of course he wasn't. He was Carlisle Cullen, the amazingly talented patriarch of the Cullen coven.

I left Edwards' room, leaving all of the tangible confusing emotions that were within behind me, and made my way down the hall. I began my slow descent down the impressive staircase with my emotions and mind in complete and total chaos. In the space of a few hours, my world had come to this. I was, without a doubt, shamelessly fleeing my future home in an effort to escape the blond-haired golden-eyed god. At this exact moment that man scared me absolutely senseless.

I was hopelessly and crazily attracted to a man who would become my father-in-law in a few short days. If I were totally honest with myself, I would freely admit that it wasn't just attraction that I felt for him. In him I recognized something deeper. It called to me almost as if it were the tantalizing song of a siren. It was silently drawing me closer and deeper into him in a way that wasn't entirely physical.

GAH! All I wanted right now, more than anything else, was to go home. I wanted to run to my room, blast my stereo, munch on M & M's and think. I wanted to be far, far away from HIM and the all-too-observant empath who I knew could feel every wayward emotion raging in me right now.

"I won't say anything to him, Bella, either of them." He said as I hit the floor downstairs and rounded the corner into the living room.

"JESUS CHRIST! Don't sneak up on people like that. You scared me!" I screeched as I shot my hand out to connect with a rock hard arm.

"Well, most folks just call me Jasper, you know, but I think I could get used to Jesus." He chuckled. "Where are you off to? I thought you were staying with us a couple of days," he asked, feigning innocence.

"Please don't jerk me around, Jasper. You know where I am going. I am willing to bet, by that little comment you just made, that you know why too. So please, don't pretend you didn't hear every word I said or aren't picking up vibes from me." I said with more than a hint of desperation in my voice.

"You forget, my dear Bella, that your emotions aren't the only ones my ability enables me to feel." He said cryptically.

"Jasper, you know what, whatever you say. I just really want to go home. Do you happen to know where my keys are?" I was dying of mortification. That he should know every little thing I was feeling was utterly and completely embarrassing. I wish the ground could open up and swallow me whole where I stood.

"Yes." He said.

"Well, where are they then? I want to go home."

"I have them. Emmett tossed them at my head when he brought you in earlier. They hit me right between the eyes, too, and caused me to die."

I raised my eyebrows speculatively at him.

"I was playing Halo." He said sheepishly.

"Oh, well, can you give them to me please?" I said while glancing behind me to make sure we were alone.

"They aren't here." He said as if he were pulling the thought right out of my mind. "After fixing your dinner, Esme and Rose joined the others on a hunt."

"Stop that!" I shouted. I had had about enough of this. They couldn't keep me here, I thought irrationally. I had to find a way to leave. I couldn't stand this another second.

"Stop what, Bella?"

"Stop reading my mind! Give me my keys please." I said extending my hand, palm upward, expectantly.

"No, I am sorry. I am not reading your mind, Bella, I am reading your face. Your face is an open book to anyone intuitive enough to read you," he said while straightening himself up. I saw his spine lengthen as he drew himself up to his full height and stared down at me. He folded his arms across his chest and placed his feet slightly apart. Clearly, he was settling in for a fight. Well, if it was a fight he wanted I was going to give it to him.

"Give me my keys, Jasper. You have no right to keep me here." I said. My voice broke on the last word under the weight of the tears I was trying so valiantly to hide. I hated myself for this weakness and the fact that Carlisle could hear every word we were saying.

"Please, Jasper." I whispered brokenly. "Why won't you let me leave?" The tears I had tried so hard to hold back began to fall silently down my bruised face.

I was in a real pickle this time. I knew down deep in my heart that nothing could ever change my love for Edward. I was going to be his wife, right? Of course I was, and I had no doubts about that. He was the path I had chosen. However, I was smart enough to know that I could no longer fool myself into thinking that I wasn't drawn to someone else. I also wanted the man that for all intents and purposes was my fiancé's father. I didn't understand that want, or what it meant.

"Edward made me promise, Bella. You know I cannot do what you wish. Even if I hadn't given him my word to keep you here until he returned, there is no way I would let you drive while you were in this state," he replied evenly.

What was it with this family?! They were all steel right through. They had no thoughts or feelings and they certainly didn't share the ones they did have. I wish I were as talented as they were at keeping my emotions under control. I was getting desperate; I could feel the panic and embarrassment warring for control of my body.

Out of nowhere I felt a wave of intense calm and resolution wash over me and permeate the room. I stiffened instinctively and drew myself up to my full height, which was a joke compared to Jasper. I was short. I turned on my best glare before staring him straight in the eye. My tears were temporarily forgotten.

"Jasper Whitlock . .Hale . . Cullen . .GAH! Whatever your last name is. I am warning you, you better back off your whammy right now. I am not in the mood! I want my keys and I want them right now. I have 10 kinds of crazy in my back pocket that you have never seen, so unless you want them unleashed in this house you better back up and hand them over." I screeched at him with as much volume and anger as my still silent tears would allow. I stomped my foot petulantly as my emotions rose to a fever pitch. I knew I wasn't being fair to him but right now I really didn't care. I would get out of here by any means possible.

"Give her what she wants, Jasper. Let her go." I heard HIM say from right behind me.

"But Carlisle, I. . " Jasper stuttered before he was interrupted by the golden god behind me. I was too afraid to move, so I just stayed frozen to the spot. I was concentrating wholly on a spot on the hardwood floor between my sneakers, unwilling to look at the man behind me.

"It is her wish, Jasper; we cannot keep her here. Give her the keys." He said.

I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I looked up at Jasper and was shocked at the menagerie of emotions mirrored in his eyes. As if sensing my scrutiny, he pulled his gaze away from Carlisle and looked at me. His eyes darted back to the man behind me and stared intently at him. His eye brows drew together in a look of utter concentration. The corners of his mouth turned downward and formed a small frown. The seconds ticked by with agonizing slowness until it seemed like ages before Jasper's eyes returned to mine. His lips quirked up in what I think was a grin. Whatever it was, it looked kind of painful for him to muster.

"Ok, but you are telling Edward. I don't want a part of that argument when he gets back to find her gone." He said as he pulled my keys out of his pocket. But, before I could get a hold of them, he closed his fingers around them. A glint of pure mischief passed through his eyes before he spoke again.

"I don't think she is in any condition to drive, Carlisle. Look at her. I need to hunt, so if she is intent on going I think you should drive her home." He finished.

Carlisle was stunned speechless. Jasper was smirking evilly at us. I was just plain confused.

"Jasper, I don't know if that is necessary. However, if the end result is Bella getting her wish then I will do it." He moved closer to me and extended his right arm over my right shoulder. I could see his arm, exposed from just above the elbow down to his wrist, through my peripheral vision.

I sucked in a breath and held it. He smelled wonderful. Like cinnamon, baked goods, sun-kissed laundry, and home. I turned my face slightly toward his arm and began to covertly study his muscular forearm. I took in every hair and crease all the way down to his hands. Man, those hands were almost as lethal as his forearms. I had to control my drool as my eyes ate up every centimeter of his exposed skin. I was thankful no one knew of my intense like of forearms and hands. It dated back to the days I used to watch JAG on television. My very first crush had been on Lt. Rabb with his ginormous hands and beautifully sculpted forearms.

A quick snort coming from the direction of my future brother-in-law brought my gaze to an abrupt halt on his form. He dropped the keys into Carlisle's outstretched hand and wrapped his arms around his mid-section. His eyes were twinkling with mirth and clouded with something else altogether. My thoughts from a second earlier could not be helping him. Carlisle wrapped his fingers around my car keys and withdrew his arm.

"After you, Isabella." He said as he placed his hand on my lower back and urged me forward.

My skin was on fire where his hand lay against my back, but I did as I was told. I blindly let him push me toward the door, out it, down the steps on the porch and slowly to my truck. As we neared the truck, his left hand skimmed around my lower back. I gasped as it continued its trail around my side, over my hip, and slightly up my stomach before he took a few more steps forward and opened my door. I boldly raised my gaze and connected with his. His eyes appeared a couple of shades darker, but I shrugged it off.

"Well, my lady, shall we get you home?" he said as he extended his hand to help me into my vehicle.

"S-S-S- Sure." I stuttered as I took the hand he had offered and climbed into the cab of my truck. But not before our eyes locked again as his hand closed around mine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own any of the characters, I just play with them.**

**A/N: I know I know, flog me. There is no excuse for my lateness. I am having major writers block so I had an idea. HEY SELF: Ask your beautiful readers where they want this story to go. .so folks that is what I am going to do. .What do you see happening now?! Where do we go from here and what do we think so far. . .I haven't had time to send this to my wonderful beta yet so please excuse the errors in spelling, horrible grammar, and my crappy sentence structure. As always leave me a review. .they are like naughty Carlisle. .you want to see more!. . hehe. Remember the lovely snow storm you are seeing on your T.V's? Well lovelies I am right in the middle of it. .one of our vehicles is under two and a half feet of snow. Sorry this is short. . HELP!  
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Jasper

Whew. Man, all of that sexual tension was killing me. I am used to the crazed teenage hormones and the ooey gooey love that floats around this house. But, the kind of stuff that was going on in here earlier between our dear little Bella and daddy dearest, man, I just had to get them out of here. I was getting ready to lose it! It was like I was stuck in the middle of some bad teenage soap opera. Something weird is brewing in the Cullen house.

I was just commending myself for a job well done in getting them out of the house and far, far away from me when the shrill ring of my phone broke me out of my reverie. Pulling it out of my pocket, I looked down at the screen and groaned. She was going to kill me. I hadn't thought much outside of the relief from the emotional turmoil Carlisle and Bella were causing. She was going to turn me five ways from Sunday when she got her hands on me. I took an un-needed breath and flipped open my phone.

"JASPER WHITLOCK WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? DO YOU KNOW WHAT CAN HAPPEN?" Alice shrieked from the other end of the line. I cringed inwardly and curled in on myself. She really was a frightening little creature.

"Alice I.. . . "

"I don't want to hear it Jazz. I know you meant well. . "

"Alice, stop. Don't make me so noble. I wasn't thinking much past getting relief from what they were feeling and believe me they were feeling."

"I know, I know. We can't change things now, and truthfully, I don't think we could have changed it anyway. What will be, will be and nothing we could have done or could do is going to change that."

"I know Al, I'm sorry. I should have thought it out. I was just caught off guard. Carlisle is usually so. .so. .so calm and centered. But what he was feeling today, Alice, it was intense."

"It's too late for regrets now Jazz. All we can do is damage control. Be you and breathe a word of this to no one. Our family needs us."

"Whatever you say my pet."

"I'll be home soon."

"I'll be waiting."

Carlisle

This was a mistake. Trapped in the cab of this little truck, I was surrounded by her. Her smell was everywhere, It was ingrained on every single surface and pore. She was sitting on the other side of the cab trying to make herself as small as possible. I wanted so desperately to say something to alleviate the tension between us, but I had no clue what to say. Instead I contented myself with looking around the truck. It really was as bad as they said it was. It sounded like a cat was caught in the engine and I could swear it swayed from side to side. When you braked, the whole vehicle slid forward on its alignment and bounced before coming to a stop. I snorted in amusement. It caught her attention.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's just this truck. Emmett said. . "

"Oh no. Not you too. Don't hate the truck, just because it's a little old."

"A little old Bella? It sounds like it's held together with duct tape."

"Someone really has been listening to Emmett a little too much. It's old but it has character." she said proudly while patting the dashboard.

"It has dents and rust is what it has Bella."

"Blasphemy! You just like new and shiny."

"You've never seen my car have you?"

"You mean your shiny black Mercedes? Of course I have."

"No, not the Mercedes."

"I don't understand."

"Bella, I drive a 1969 Mustang GT."

"You.. . . you. . you poser! I knew it!" she shrieked while pointing her finger at me and grinning.

I couldn't hold it back any longer. I laughed. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled at her.

"What can I say, I am just a simple kind of man. Well, in theory of course." I said pulling the truck neatly into the driveway and noting that Charlie's police cruiser was missing. I cut the engine and turned to look at her. She had her face downcast and was nervously fiddling with something in her lap. I reached over and dropped her keys into her moving hands and laid mine on top of the lot. She stopped moving and looked up.

"It looks like Charlie had to work." She said as she turned and looked at me. "Thanks for bringing me home."

"Are you going to be ok?"

"Yeah." She said quietly. I got out of the truck and walked around and opened her door. She got out and reached into the bed of her truck and grabbed her duffel bag. She silently walked past me and up onto her porch. The gentleman and protector in me demanded that I walk her to the door and to see her safely inside. The man inside me begged to be closer to her for just a few seconds more. I watched silently as she unlocked and pushed open her door before she turned around to face me.

"Look, Carlisle, I owe you a big apology. I was way out of line tonight, it was just. .. Well, I was taken off guard when I woke up and you were there. Then I misread things and I just feel so stupid. I never meant to say any of that. It must seem so silly to you."

"Not at all. I wish I could tell you things."

"What do you mean." She asked sounding puzzled.

" I mean, Bella, that sometimes life makes it impossible to have the things you want most. Fate steps in to trick you and there is absolutely no one to blame. You just have to accept the hand you have been dealt and play it the best you can." I said even as I knew I shouldn't. I couldn't bear for her to think that the things she wanted so badly just didn't exist. I had already lied to her and that was bad enough.

"That sounds so cynical." She said as she stepped forward and placed her small palm against my chest. "You didn't choose what you became Carlisle. You could have given up and became a killer; instead you choose to use what was chosen for you to do good. You save lives every day."

I placed my left hand over her right and patted it. She truly was something special, a rarity. "Thank you. I just want people to have a choice, a chance to live."

"You do give them that. Do you think what I want is wrong?" I raised my eyebrows at her quizzically and stuck my hands in my pockets. "Wanting to be like you?"

"I can see Edward's side Bella. You are so delightfully human."

"Gee thanks. Why don't you tell me what you really think! I am so tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn't want."

"You mis-understand. I only meant that you have the most delightful habit of blushing and your outlook and take on things is amazing to see. I would hate to see you lose that."

"You didn't."

"Touché. He just doesn't want you to forfeit all the things you were supposed to be and have and do just to become what he is."

"I get it. I get it. He wants me to be and see and do and experience being a human. But what about earlier?"

"Pardon?"

"I am giving Edward what he wants, and I want to be his I really do. I just want to be wanted. Don't give me that look! I know you say it's impossible, but I think you're lying. Why is it impossible?"

"I never said it was impossible. ."

"LIAR! You said 'No Bella, I don't'. Were you lying to me Carlisle?"

"Yes, I had to." I sighed in defeat.

"I thought you of all people wouldn't shelter me. I was wrong. Goodnight." She stepped inside and shut the door in my face. To say I was shocked was an understatement, so I just stood there.

I could hear her inside slamming cabinets and doors and muttering to herself. I couldn't bear this. I couldn't bear standing here having her think what she was. I had to tell her why, consequences be damned.

I raised my hand and knocked on the door. I braced my hands on either side of the door frame and listened. I heard her come toward the door and grab the knob. It is moment of truth Carlisle. What are you going to do?

The door swung wide open and I looked up at the exact second she emitted her startled gasp.

"Carlisle, what. . ."

I started advancing on her, walking her backwards into the house. I reached behind me and slammed the door, never breaking eye contact with her. I kept advancing on her until the backs of her knees hit the stairs and she wavered on her feet.

"Isabella, you have to understand why I did it." I pleaded earnestly.

"U-u-understand?" she stuttered. Her heart was beating a wild rhythm in her chest and she raised her hands to her throat.

"I lied because I had to. I had to tell you I didn't believe it was possible because. . . because. . because I am his father. . His father for all intents and purposes, do you understand that?! For decades all we had was each other and now here I am, reduced to this. I never used to miss being a man. But today, today when you woke up and turned your head into my hand I realized something. It is possible because all I have been able to think about since the second I uttered that lie was proving to you just how possible it was. I know I shouldn't but. . . "

Her eyes widened in surprise. As I watched, a spark lit in the depths of her chocolate eyes and turned into a raging fire. She raised her left hand and placed it over my mouth, successfully putting a halt to my rant.

"Oh god." I muttered against her hand as my arms left my sides and snaked around her. I yanked her forward and threaded my fingers into her hair as her body crashed into mine. I pulled her head back and brought my mouth down onto hers. I felt her heart skip a beat before her arms rose around my neck.

In the next second she was responding. The man in me groaned with pleasure, even as the father was horrified.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** **The characters are sole property of their creator Stephanie Meyer. . and she doesn't share**

**A/N: Miss me? I know, it has taken FOREVER to get this up. RL hasn't been the best of friends as of late and has kept me pretty busy. I figured you guys would want the chapter now instead of letting my amazing beta go through it first so I am posting it now and I will repost it again as soon as she corrects my heinous grammar and spelling mistakes. Give a shout out to her StormDragonFly! I am astonished and humbled by the many reviews you guys have left me and I hope you leave me some more! I am going to do my best to respond to every reviewer within the next couple of days. Bit of news to share. .and no I am not pregnant. . lol. .I had the amazing opportunity to see a 100 Monkeys concert. It was at a little out of the place bowling alley. I got a chance to see and meet Jackson Rathbone. I know. .SWOON!. He has a wicked sense of humor, and the things he can do to a mandolin should be illegal. It was simply amazing to see him so completely in his element. The whole band was amazing. I left the show with two CDs and a shirt. . .and a picture. Those guys love what they do. I think I left the concert a little in love with the whole band. .During said show they talked about their friend and fellow musician Mr Spencer Bell who died of cancer a few years ago. I recommend you look up his website and check out his cause and check out some of 100 Monkey's music. **

**As always my dear readers, tell me if you love it or hate it. What do you see happening next? Thoughts and reviews are great. Reviews are like Jackson Rathbone playing mandolin. .they make you all warm and fuzzy inside. . Without further adeiu, welcome to Chapter 7!**

**Love, B**

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This was a mistake and boy did I know it. I never should have allowed myself to be maneuvered ingo this. But alas, I am merely a gir, a frail humanl. So, here I sat in the cab of my truck next to this beautiful being who had seen and done so much in his three centuries plus of life. I was stuck with him, and the wave of unexpected and unwanted emotions that he stirred in me. I just don't understand this. I was perfectly fine with the way things were. Edward and I had finally found some semblance of peace and happiness after the whole Jake and Victoria mess, and now this. I know statistics show that the average person falls in love at least twice in his or her lifetime, but this was insane.

Once was a miracle, twice was unheard of, but three times? I am certain God is punishing me now, or playing a sick sick joke. I had fallen so hard in love with Edward so fast that I barely had to register he was mine before he left "for my own good" after my 18th birthday. Then there had been Jacob. He was all things sturdy and reliable and warm. Then there was the man sitting a foot or so away from me with his eyes staring intently ahead watching the road. His hands were placed perfectly on the wheel at 10 and 2. My eyes scanned upward and I noticed that he was taking slow and even breaths through his nose and blowing them gently out of his mouth. His lips were set slightly apart, he hardly even realized he did things like that anymore. I curled into myself and scooted closer to the door in an effort to keep myself together and my wayward emotions hidden. I had made a complete and total fool of myself more than once tonight. It was more than a little unnerving.

What could you say about Carlisle Cullen? He was changed against his will, and struggled with what he had become almost as much as Edward had. I remembered him sitting at his desk in his study not so long ago, telling me how he came to be. His inner strength, calm, and unwavering devotion to his family were un-paralleled. He believed himself to be a selfish person because of his past decisions in the making of his family. He had turned them himself. That alone took a type of strength that, having been around a few vampires at this point, was practically unheard of. He could have given in to the monster that lurked within him, but instead he had chosen a different path. One he made for himself out of sheer determination. I was so caught up in my inner musings that his short snort of laughter brought me out of my thoughts with a jolt. I don't think I have ever heard him laugh before.

"What?" I asked him quizzically.

"I'm sorry Isabella, it's just this truck. Emmett said. . "

"Oh no. Not you too. Don't hate the truck, just because it's a little old." What was the issue that the entire Cullen family seemed to have with poor old Hank? I named him Hank shortly after getting him, it fit. He was a present from Charlie upon my return to Forks. I turned my head to face Carlisle.

"A little old Bella? It sounds like it's held together with duct tape." he said with an uncharacteristic smile playing at his lips.

"It sounds like someone really has been listening to Emmett a little too much. It's old but it has character." I said proudly while patting Hank's dashboard.

"It has dents and rust is what it has Isabella."

"Blasphemy!" I shrieked in a playful tone. "You just like new and shiny."

"You've never seen my car have you?" he asked with a sideways glance.

"You mean your shiny black Mercedes? Of course I have." It really was a nice car, even if it was a tad on the flashy side.

"No, not the Mercedes." he replied, a full blown grin now adorning his pefect face. My breath hitched slightly in my chest. Carlisle was a gorgeous being already, but with a smile curving his perfect lips, he was devastating.

"I don't understand."

"Isabella, I drive a 1969 Mustang GT."

"You.. . . you. . you poser!" I shrieked whilst pointing my finger at him. I had turned my whole body towards him by this point. I couldn't stop the full fledged smile that spread across my face if I wanted to."I knew it!"

He emitted a musical sound that I realized he was laughing. He turned his head quickly and brought his eyes, which were twinkling with mischeif and mirth, to mine and shrugged his shoulders before turning his eyes back to the road.

"What can I say, I am just a simple kind of man. Well, in theory of course." he said as he pulled the truck neatly into my driveway. "I'm not really a man at all anymore. Only vampire."

He really believed he wasn't a good man. What was with these Cullen men? Carlisle, of all people, embodied good. I took quick stock of my driveway and noted that Charlie's cruiser was missing from its usual spot under the tree. The tension was growing rapidly between us in the confines of the truck.

I didn't know what to say so I looked down at my hands and began to nervously wring them together. I vaugely heard him turn off the truck and take the keys out of the ignition. The keys soon landed in the middle of my hands. I was astonished when he reached over and covered my hands and keys with his own. Taken off guard I looked up into his golden eyes and struggled to find the wits to speak.

"It looks like Charlie had to work." I managed to get out. "Thanks for bringing me home."

"Are you going to be ok?" he asked me. His face was a portrait of genuine concern.

"Yeah." I told him quietly. I was surprised when hegot out of the truck, walked around to my side of the cab, and opened the car door. She got out and reached into the bed of her truck and grabbed her duffel bag. I slowly uncurled myself and climbed out of the truck. I reached into the bed of the truck and grabbed my duffel bag and slung it around my shoulder.

Without looking at him, I silently moved past him and made my way up the few stairs that led to the porch. I wasn't surprised at all when he followed behind me. I searched my key ring for the key that would let me inside my house. I quickly located it, thanks to the bring pink band I had wrapped around it, and unlocked the door. I turned the knob and gently pushed the door open and turned around to face him.

Only a few more seconds Bella, you can do this. I thought to myself. All I had to do was apologize, say goodnight, and I was homefree.

"Look, Carlisle," I began nervously "I owe you a big apology. I was way out of line tonight. Tt was just. ..I.. . . Well, I was taken off guard when I woke up and you were there. Then I misread things and I just feel so stupid. I never meant to say any of that. It must seem so silly to you."

"Not at all Isabella." he said in a soothing tone.I wished I could just sink into his voice and let it surround me. Jeesh. What was wrong with me tonight? My inner musings were interrupted as he finished his sentence. "I wish I could tell you things."

"What do you mean?" I asked him quizzically. I really didn't understand it. Did all of the Cullen men have the same cryptic ability?

" I mean, Isabella, that sometimes life makes it impossible to have the things you want most." He said on an exhale of breath. He looked up at me and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Sometimes fate steps in to trick you and there is absolutely no one to blame. You just have to accept the hand you have been dealt and play it the best you can." He said. I could tell it was a great effort for him to get it out, I just didn't know why. I, of all people, understood just how cruel fate could be. He looked so distraught and hurt that I couldn't help myself.

"That sounds so cynical." I said as I stepped forward, extended my arm, and placed my hand on his chest directly over his heart

"You didn't choose what you became Carlisle. You could have given up and given in and become a killer; instead you struggled against what the nature of what you were made into, to do good. You save lives every day." I said. My voice was still minutely unsteady and my hands were starting to shake. His proximity was getting to me. Touching him was dangerous. I just couldn't bear for him to think that he wasn't good. I tried so hard to make him see, make all of them see really, that they weren't the monsters society made them to be.

"Thank you. I just want people to have a choice, a chance to live." he said sincerely as he placed his left hand over my right. His ring caught my eye. No, he wasn't bad at all. He was what all men should be. Tingles trailed up my arm, sending shock waves of awareness throughout my body from this innocent contact.

"You do give them that." I said to him while my eyes traveled back up to his from where I had been looking down to where his hand covered mine. I couldn't stop the next question that fell from my lips.

"Do you think what I want is wrong? Me wanting to be like you I mean." I asked. I watched his hand fall from mine and return to their plaice in his pockets. I shouldn't care so much what he thought, but I did. He was one of the only people in Edwards family that told me the truth always, no matter the consequences. I knew what I was asking of Edward was monumental but I didn't care. Was it so wrong to want what I did? I had caved to his demands after all.

"I can see Edward's side Isabella." He said reluctantly. "You are so delightfully human."

"Gee thanks." I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. If he couldn't understand than no one would. "Why don't you tell me what you really think? I am so tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn't want."

"You mis-understand." he said quickly. "I only meant that you have the most delightful habit of blushing and your outlook and take on things is amazing to see. I would hate to see you lose that."

"You didn't." I said confidently. Carlisle had retained all traces of his humanity minus the physical aspects such as blushing and crying. He was good, it was impossible to fathom how he thought he was damned. I still hadn't gotten that conversation from his study on my birthday out of my mind.

"Touché." he said while looking at me. "He just doesn't want you to forfeit all the things you were supposed to be and have and do just to become what he is."

"I get it. I get it. He wants me to be and see and do and experience being a human. But what about earlier?" I asked him. By this point I had backed away a little so I could fully look up at him.

"Pardon?" he said.

"I am giving Edward what he wants, and I want to be his I really do. I just want to be wanted. Don't give me that look!" I said forcefully and then I took a shot in the dark. I prayed that I didn't fall flat on my face with this. I was taking a gamble but I had to know.

"I know you say it's impossible, but I think you're lying. Why is it impossible?" I demanded.

"I never said it was impossible. ." he said and my mouth dropped open.

"LIAR!" I said evenly. "You said and I quote, 'No Bella, I don't'. Were you lying to me Carlisle?"

For a second I thought he was going to turn away from me. Instead he shook his head from side to side, dislodging a small piece of hair. It hung rakisly over his brow while his shoulder hung in. . defeat?

"Yes, I did" he sighed. "I had to." he said a few seconds later.

"I thought you of all people wouldn't shelter me. I guess I was wrong. Goodnight." I said woodenly and with that I stepped inside my house and slammed the door in his face. Couldn't I trust anyone?

I thought Carlisle, of all people, would tell me the truth always. He had always treated me with the utmost respect and consideration, actually asking my opinions on things. Why did people think they always had to protect me?

I tossed my bag to the side of the entry way and made my way into the kitchen mumbling to myself about being a poor pathetic and fragile little human. I didn't wear dresses or ply with dolls anymore and I know I had the brain capacity to deal with the truth. I strode into the kitchen and unknowingly flung the cabinet door open so hard that it bounced off of the one next to it and came swinging right back at my head.

"Ouch!" I said. "Can't I please get something right today?" I muttered to myself. I opened the cabinet again, slowly this time and retrieved a glass from it. I sat the glass on the counter and grabbed the tea from the fridge. I was mid pour when I heard an incessant and forceful knocking on my front door. I didn't know who it could be. Hopefully, it wasn't a member of my soon to be family. I had had about all I could take from them right now. I know they meant well but my fragile ego could only take so much. I liked to think I was stronger than the thought me to be. After all, I had single handedly taken care of myself and my hair brained mother for years before returning home. The knocking was growing more impatient and the caller showed no sign of leaving.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I muttered as I made my way back through the kitchen to the front door. I grasped the handle and swung the door open. He raised his head and I gasped, my breath sticking in my throat.

"Carlisle, what. . ." I managed to get out. The next second he was advancing on me. I watched, startled, as he reached behind him and slammed the front door behind him. He never took his eyes from mine. I took a step back, and then another, and another, as he kept coming at me. He had this look of frenzied emotion on his face, his eyes full of it. My knees hit the staircase and I stumbled to a stop. My balance wavering as his hands came up in front of him in a defensive gesture.

"Isabella, you have to understand why I did it." he said. The silent pleading in his eyes begging me to understand what he was trying to say.

"U-u-understand?" I stuttered whilst raising my hands to cup my throat. I knew he wouldn't bite me, I was just startled. He was usually so calm and collected. He was the one who sat and made out plans and discussed things with a completely open mind. The man in front of me showed no trace of possessing such traits. I looked into his eyes and saw the slow fire burning in them. Oh my, lucky Esme to get to see him like this all the time. I was struck my a pang of jealousy so strong that it kicked up my heart rate even further and nearly brought me to my knees.

"I lied because I had to." he said quickly. "I had to tell you I didn't believe it was possible because. . . because. . because I am his father Isabella. . His father for all intents and purposes, do you understand that?"

He ran his hands through his hair just then, dislodging several more locks before continuing on, I was helpless to look away. "For decades all we had was each other and now here I am, reduced to this. I never used to miss being a man, because what I became allowed me to help people even more than I ever could have imagined as a human. But today, today when you woke up and turned your head into my hand I realized something. It is possible because all I have been able to think about since the second I uttered that lie was proving to you just how possible it was. I know I shouldn't but. . . "

Hold up! Did he just say what I think he said? He wants to. .to. .I was sure my facial expressions gave away my surprise. My eyes brows shot up and I felt the electricity between us hum to life. He wanted me? How was that even possible?. Fairytales weren't true, I knew that with my whole heart and soul. They just didn't happen in real life. But looking at the man in front of me I could almost believe in them. I could see the want in his eyes as I looked at him. I raised my hand and placed it gently over his mouth to quiet him.

"Oh god." he muttered. The raw emotions in those two words dropped to my stomach. My life would never be the same. He wanted to believe he wasn't a man? What a joke! I had never seen more of a man that what stood in front of me and I wanted him. I wanted every part of him. Looking into his eyes I knew. .In that moment I believed that I was the most beautiful girl in the world, because to him I was.

A split second later a pair of strong arms shot out and wrapped around me. I lost my balance as I was pulled forward forcefully and suddenly. As if I were in an alternate universe, I felt his left arm come around to rest on my lower back as his right hand threaded itself into my hair. I came to an abrupt halt as I crashed into his rock solid body and the hand tightened in my hair. He pulled my head back slightly and his lips crashed down on mine. Heaven, I thought as all rational thought left me. My hear skipped a beat and I snaked my hands up his chest and around his neck.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I was kissing Carlisle Cullen. The calm and collected CarIisle Cullen. I heard as well as felt the gluttural groan tear from his chest and I gave myself over to the fierce heat he was kindling and.

I threaded my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and drew my short nails down his neck. His tongue snaked out and brushed lazily across my bottom lip. In that moment I forgot who I was and where I was as I gasped in sheer pleasure. He took advantage of that and his tongue darted insde the recesses of my mouth. Raising my hands to both sides of his face, I pulled his as close to me as I could and eagerly reached my tongue out to his. We both groaned as our tongues fought for dominance, and my legs gave out from under me. He caught me and pivoted to the right and I found myself pinned to the wall.

His left hand came to rest on the wall beside my head as his right arm snaked around my waist to hold me steady. I was sure I was going to burn alive. The electricity surging through my body caused fireworks to explode behind my eyelids. My head lolled to the side and rested on his forearm as the kiss went on and on and on. His teeth nipped lightly at my lower lip and I whimpered. His mouth wrenched from mine and he kissed along my jaw line, his tongue darting out to tase my salty skin. He made a trail down the side of my neck and came to rest on my pulse point. Slowly he brought his eyes to mine as he placed his open mouth on top of it. He nipped my neck gently then placed his mouth over it and sucked lightly. I groaned aloud as my eyes rolled back in my head like a slot machine.

He abruptly raised his head and looked me straight in the eyes. There was no mistaking the want that was now visible in the charcoal depths. I raised my right hand slowly to my swollen red lips as if to hold his taste to them, and stared back at him with wide eyes.

He dropped his arms and moved away so suddenly that I sank to the floor. I was unable to get my knees to hold my body upright.

"What have I done?" he whispered in despair as he rammed his fingers through his hair. He looked down at me with tortured eyes and lowered himself to sit on his haunches. He raised his hand to cup my left cheek and brushed his thumb slowly across the apple of my cheek. I stared openly at him trying to absorb what had just happened and calm myself.

"Charlie is coming." he said. "I've got to go. . .I wish. . ." he trailed off as he jerked his head towards the door.

"You wish what?" I asked quietly, my voice muffled by the hand I had placed on my mouth.

He shook his head and jumped quickly to his feet. With one final look he was gone. I hastily scribbled Charlie a note telling him I didn't feel well so I came home and went to bed. I grabbed my duffel bag and trudged up the stairs quickly as I could manage without further harming myself.

I dropped it on the bed and went to my dresser to pull out a clean pair of underwear and tank top for me to sleep in. I hurried into the bathroom to shower and dress then went back to my room and flung myself onto my bed.

What had just happened? I just kissed my fiancee's father. My face flamed as I recalled the intensity of his kiss. For a small span of time I truly believed I was living a dream, a fairytale. He proved there were fireworks and electricity and all consuming want. What happens now? Now that I know that those things to exist can I really just move past it? Can I forget how much I felt in that one kiss and continue my life with Edward knowing that I am irrevocably in love with his "father"?

Carlisle's words haunted me well into the night as I tossed and turned in my bed praying for sleep to take me. I lied, he had said, those thing are possible and I want to be the one to show you just how possible it is.

Life had taught me to expect the worst in every situation. With one last sigh, I rolled to my right side and tucked my knees under my chin and fell into a restless sleep.

That was the first night I dreamed of Carlisle Cullen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: ****Not mine sadly. . .Twilight and its characters are property of Stephanie Meyer**

**A/N: Are you proud? It has been less than a month and I have another chapter! WOO HOO! Mad props to my wonderful Beta StormDragonFly who went back and forth with me on this chapter to help me make it flow right and correct my horrible spelling and grammar. RL is pure chaos for me at the moment so I will try and get you another chapter as soon as I possibly can. So here is the deal my lovelies! Love it or hate it let me know! Make my review count jump. . lets see. .can we get 15 this chapter? If you have reviewed and haven't gotten anything back shout out and let me know! I am absent minded at best these days. .don't hold it against me. . .**

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**CPOV**

As soon as my feet touched the ground after stepping from her porch, I turned towards the treeline and ran. My fight or flight response had kicked in the moment I broke away from her touch. Maybe, just maybe, it was self preservation that drove me further from her and into the woods.

I pushed my legs harder and faster in an effort to outrun what I had just done.

I slowed to a walk as I entered a small clearing, only vaguely aware that somewhere along the way, it had begun to rain. By the time I had come to a lazy stop in the middle of the clearing, the rain began to fall in a steady downpour. I put my hands in my pockets, closed my eyes, and turned my face toward the sky.

Every nerve ending in my body was still humming with life and delighted in each splat of the rain as it hit my granite skin. I had always loved the rain and the cold when I had been human. There had always been something so peaceful and cleansing about the rain. The wilder and harder the rain storm had been, the more peace I found. I always fancied the thought that rain washed things away and gave you a fresh start. It was almost as if you could see it cleanse everything it touched. My love for rainfall wasn't shared with many.

Winter had always delighted me as well. There was something about blinding white of a fresh undisturbed blanket of snow that made everything your eyes touched so pure and even. After the change, my love for both had only intensified. Every rain drop was different and unique, just as every snow flake and icicle had its own unique pattern.

Standing here immersed in nature with the rain falling all around me, I was completely at peace with my surroundings. The trees danced merrily as the wind whipped its branches to and fro. I pulled a deep breath of air into my long dead lungs and tasted the earthy smells that the precipitation had intensified. I let it out in a sigh as my thoughts continued to race around in my mind.

In Isabella, Edward had found every thing his heart had ever desired in another when his heart was beating and when it wasn't. She showed him every single day that what he had become didn't define who he was. He might be a vampire, but to Bella he was simply Edward. He was an old fashioned boy who was dealt a hand that wasn't of his choosing. She showed him how big and open-hearted he was.

Edward still wasn't entirely convinced his soul had remained intact when he had been changed, therefore he struggled the most with Bella's wish to become like us. Despite her insistance that his soul still remained, he maintained that he didn't want to take away her soul and turn her into the monster he thought himself to be. He had always denied the good that was in him because of the monster that lay within him.

The only person who struggled with and resented their change more so than Edward would have been Rosalie. I would always remember the night I had found her in the street where she lay broken, bleeding, and alone. It wasn't a life she would have chosen for herself she said but she was determined to make the most of the hand I had dealt her.

A smile played on my lips as I thought of my family. In each other we had found strength and stability that made this existence bearable. I was lucky to be their "father".

Father, what a joke, I thought to myself with a depreciating snort. What kind of father did what I had done today? I had done something I could never take back and in truth I wasn't sure I wanted to. From the moment she opened those soulful brown eyes and turned into my touch, every wayward thought and feeling I had had for her came blazing to the surface.

She brought out the part of me I thought would be lost forever when I was changed. She made me feel every inch a man instead of the blood sucking monster I battled daily. She listened quietly and patiently to any and all things I told her when we would speak. That she regarded my thoughts and opinions at all completely blew me away. She was highly intelligent and thoughtful and so very open-hearted. She readily embraced all that we were and even more so she embraced all that we weren't.

I sank to the ground and lay back in the wet grass. I folded my hands behind my head and gazed up at the sky.

I thought back to the time I had told her my story, the one of how I came to be a vampire. I told her about my change and the life I had had before it. I had told her of how I struggled with the loss of my father who believed I was a monster that had to be hunted and destroyed. I remember the night of her 18th birthday and the accident that led to us leaving her behind.

I remember vividly extracting glass from the wound on her arm. My fingers tingled at the memory of the conversation we had. That night I had told her that I understood the root of Edward's concerns about her being changed. I had asked her if she believed as he did, would she be willing to risk his soul? A few words from that night will forever be emblazoned on my brain. It was a turning point of sorts for me.

I had told her that I had never thought of killing humans, only helping them. My change had allowed me to become a better doctor and I was able to save more lives because of it. It brought me happiness I had told her, even if I was damned regardless.

"Carlisle," she had told me that night. "You couldn't be damned, it's impossible."

For the first time in over 300 years of existence, I felt a spark of something I had thought was long gone. I felt like a man. For the first time since my change, I wasn't a minister's son or a vampire or even a father, I was simply a man. I was just plain ole Carlisle.

I loved my Esme more than I ever dreamed possible. She completed me. She was my best friend, my confidante my lover, and my rock. I simply loved her. Neither Esme nor Edward had ever asked for any of this, any of the world I had exposed them to.

One fact remained. Even though I loved my mate, I could no longer deny that I was pulled to Edward's. Everything about her appealed to me.

Her simple way of reasoning and seeing the things around her was refreshing. Even though you could never get her to see it, the only thing that rivaled her outer beauty was the beauty she carried inside.

I was well and completely drenched now but I couldn't bring myself to care. As I lay there on the wet ground, I was able to give reign to my thoughts and revel in the smells and taste that still clung to me. Alice would probably have a fit when she saw what I had inflicted on the clothes she had so carefully chosen.

"Carlisle what are you doing on the ground?" Ah, speak of the devil and she shall appear. "You're covered in grass stains and mud. Do you know what mud and grass do to Armani?"

I jerked my head to the left and saw the aggravated tapping of a near immaculate black heeled shoe. Every time the toe made contact with the ground it sunk into the mud and flung it every which way. My eyes traveled from the tip of the shoe up the pants to the angry black eyes of their owner. Her arms were crossed over her chest and from her left shoulder hung a small black duffel bag.

"Alice." I said simply. My feet and bottom made a squishing sound as I drew myself into the sitting position. "What are you doing out here?"

"I saw what happened at Bella's." she said shrugging her shoulders. " I followed your scent and found you here."

BPOV

_The mud squished pleasantly between my toes as I walked barefoot towards my destination. The rain was raising a pleasant melody as it fell through the trees and splattered on every available surface of the forest floor. I smiled as I kept on walking. I was so completely at peace with my surroundings and myself that my footing never wavered__as it made purchase after purchase on the slick surfaces of fallen leaves, branches, and scattered flora. _

_I broke through the treeline a few moments later and my feet found easy purchase in the grainy sand and I let out a sigh. Was there anything more peaceful than this? The rain surrounded me, cleansing everything with its steady downpour and leaving a fresh start for the next day. The sounds of the sea relaxed me even further as I kept my steady pace towards the place where the foam dances up and down on the sand._

_I stopped a few feet into the water and dropped my hands to my sides and let them move back and forth as the tide came and went. The sky was lit up with a menagerie of reds, yellows, oranges, blues, and traces of white. My breath heaved out in a sigh and I closed my eyes. This is what I came here for, I thought and I raised my face towards the waning lights on the horizon._

_Cool arms slipped around my waist, weaving cleverly through my limp arms that were still hanging at my sides at the mercy of the tide. Firm lips found purchase on the side of my neck and nibbled slowly upwards before ending with a soft kiss below my ear._

_A low moan escaped my throat as a shiver of awareness went down my spine and caused me to tremble slightly. I let my head fall back against his shoulder and my lips turned up into a smile. I dragged my hands up the sides of my jeans to place them on top of the forearms of the man standing behind me. __His hold didn't waver for an instant as he laced our fingers together where they rested on my abdomen._

_His breath tickled across my left ear as he lowered his head slightly. My body was acutely aware of his every move and hummed with pleasure at his proximity. His mouth was dangerously close to my ear, so much so that I could feel the slightest touch of the firm contours of his lips along my outer ear. _

_"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked and propped his chin on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked out across the ocean._

_"Yes, it is. There are so many different colors blending together, it's breathtaking."_

_"So are you."_

_I smiled gently and drug my nails lightly across his exposed forearms._

_"You shouldn't be here." I said quietly._

_"I know. I didn't plan to, I just saw you leave the house and I knew where you were headed. I couldn't resist. It is a sight I have crept out to watch so many times myself. Especially in the rain."_

_"There is just something about the rain. I love it. I love sound of it.. It is so relaxing and beautiful." _

_"I agree; there is something so comforting about the rain. You were quiet today, is something wrong?" he asked as he ran his hands up my arms and brought them to rest on my almost bare shoulders._

_"Not really." I replied hoping that he would let it go. Instinct told me that he would catch my lie easily and part of me desperately wanted him to._

_"Talk to me." He asked, his tone quietly pleading with me to tell him what was wrong._

"_I should go, I will be missed before too much longer." I said quietly with a barely audible sigh._

_He gave a sarcastic snort from his place behind me and tightened his grip. "I know, and it is what it is. A few moments more, please? I rarely ever get you to myself."_

_I sighed and gave in. I sunk back into his body and lost myself to the sounds of the ocean, pondering when on earth things got so complicated. I didn't doubt for one second that there was a higher power, but I was beginning to think He had a really sick sense of humor._

_I chuckled at the thought, my body shaking slightly with mirth._

_"What__has you so amused?" he queried_

_"This, life." I said gesturing outward to our surroundings._

_"What do you mean?"_

_I turned my body underneath his hands so that I could face him. My hands slowly made their way up his sides, crossing to the front to his torso right below his ribcage. My eyes followed the path of my hands greedilys. He really was magnificent. I lightly skimmed my hands up his chest and wound them around his neck burying__my fingers in the hair there.I brought my eyes up to his and smiled. My smile was reflected in the amber depths of his eyes as he tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear. "Think about it, my life was supposed to be ordinary, until you guys came into my life. You changed me. I didn't know just how vibrant and alive the world could be." _

_"You do know that is an oxymoron, right? We are technically dead." He laughed._

_"Very funny, Carlisle. You know what I mean."_

_"That I do, Isabella."_

_"Wherever God is, he has to have one sick sense of humor. Only me right?" I said chuckling again. "I wouldn't change it for the world. It brought me Edward, and it brought me you. It almost makes up for the position we are in."_

_"Almost," he agreed as his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer. "I love having you here, in my arms. Sometimes, I would trade most anything for this right here. To keep you to myself in this place that only exists whenever you are beside me. "_

_"I know." I said quietly, my eyes never leaving his. I continued to play with the golden hair at his nape. "I love my life with Edward and the family you've built for all of us. But, I miss your arms when they aren't the ones around me. I miss the conversations and being treated like an equal."_

_"I will always hate that it isn't me, even if it wasn't meant to be," he murmured against my forehead._

_"Me too," I said and brought my right hand up to cup the side of his face. He closed his eyes and hummed his approval. I traced his eyebrow slowly with my thumb, enjoying the feel of the coarse texture. I took my time tracing the bridge of his nose before I rested my thumb on his lips, pulling the bottom one down slightly. I committed every touch, texture, smell, and sound to memory. These moments were far too precious to not remember in glorious detail. As my eyes traced lovingly over every surface of his face, I said "Sometimes your lips and hands are the ones I feel."_

_"Isabella, you..." he replied, his sentence dropping off as he laced his fingers through my hair. He drew my face under his and using the hand in my hair, tilted my head sideways. He studied me for long, slow, tantalizing seconds and then bent his head and nuzzled the left side of my neck. Brushing his lips across the apple of my cheek, he said "if my heart could still beat..."_

_"Stop," I murmured while placing my hand over his lips. "Kiss me."_

_"Isabella, it only makes it harder to pretend, he said shaking his head from right to left._

_"Be selfish, Carlisle," I said brazenly whilst lifting my chin minutely, bringing his lips a little closer to mine. "Let's hurt later, for now, let's just pretend that the world is perfect."_

_He emitted a low growl from somewhere deeps inside his chest just as his eyes flashed and he brought his lips down upon mine._

_"Carlisle, " I murmured beneath his lips. "Oh yes. . ."_

The man in the corner sighed as the girl in the bed twisted so slightly to the left. Her left hand came up to lay beside her face as she uttered "Carlisle, oh yes. . ."

"Isabella. . ." he whispered reverently as he closed his eyes.

****

**A/N 2: Please. . don't throw the shoes or bricks to hard . . hehe. . I couldn't help it. They have minds of their own. Reviews are like pictures of Kellan shirtless. . they give you the warm and tinglies**


	9. Dear Readers

**Dear Readers,**

**Thank you all for your marked enthusiasm for Life Happens. Your reviews make me smile, giggle uncontrollably, and keep the inner writer motivated. Unfortunately my stupid immune system decided to take a nose dive and I am stuck in bed. Side effects of the medication include forgetfulness, clumsiness, sounding like an elderly man with emphysema, hacking, sneezing the craziest colors, total lack of balance, and I have the attention span of a flea. Hang with me guys I will do my very best to have the next chapter out before the second week of December. Until then I leave you with the Chapter 5 teaser for my other story, My Saving Grace.**

**B**

"OH MY GOD! What the hell is on your foot? Are those pink? Is that fuzz? " She hopped up on the counter beside the cash register and swung her long graceful legs over to the other side. She slid off and walked over to Carlisle and I stood frozen by the display of taffy. Making an exaggerated show of it she knelt down to my feet and lifted one off the ground. My center of gravity momentarily thrown off I toppled sideways and grabbed hold of Carlisle for support. She slipped one hand from around my ankle and poked my shoe as comically tried to figure out what they were. She poked here and there, turning my foot every which way.

I couldn't hold back my laughter any longer. I snorted loudly and buried my face in Carlisle's shoulder. My laughter was uncontrollably wracking my body by this point as I watched my best friend poke and prod at the new shoes I wore. They were the sweetest most thoughtful gift I had ever been given and I loved them. It didn't matter to me at all that they look like I strung some rubber bands on some rabbits, dyed them pink, and strapped them to my feet.

"Ha!" She jumped up and shoved a long finger up to my face. "You, don't move an inch!" She darted quickly out the door and came back seconds later dragging a lost looking Jake behind her.

"Jake," I heard her saying as she opened the door, "You have GOT to see this! Bella is wearing creatures on her feet."

"Rosie it can't be that bad. I have only seen her wear those dollar store ones and I don't think you could call those creatures."

She dragged him to stand a few feet from me and pointed to my shoes. He looked and gasped then began to rub his eyes furiously before looking at her feet again.

"Umm Bells?"

"Yes Jake?" I said between bouts of laughter. It was starting to hurt now.

"What the hell are those?" he said pointing at my feet.

"Shoes Jake."

"Bella?"

"Yes Jake?"

"Are they dead?"


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own them, I just like to play with them on occasion**

**A/N:**** Hey guys! Remember me? Yeah I know feel free to throw flaming bricks and steal my chocolate. I deserve it. My muse has left me with this story but I was finally able to put out at least a small chapter for you but I need help! So to the faithful who have stuck with me this long I need ideas. Whether they be far fetched, funny, or grab your tissues and cry I want to hear them. What do you see for this crew? Anyways enough of my rambling Enjoy chapter nine!**

**Bee**

****

"Isabella" he sighed as he buried his face in his hands. He would give anything to know what her dreams were about. The way she was twisting in her sheets as she moved restlessly as she moaned his name was causing quite the problem in his jeans. He hated to wake her but he would have to, Alice would never forgive him for ruining two pairs of pants in one day. He had to fix this, resolve it somehow or it would destroy them all.

He carefully stood up taking care not to disturb it, its rocking motion made way too much noise. He crossed the short distance to her bed and sat down beside her. He brushed the hair out of her face and ran his finger down her arm.

"Isabella."

She swatted at his arm, pulled the blankets over her head, and rolled over. He chuckled to himself.

"Isabella."

"No. It's still dark outside. Go away." She moaned while she curled further in on herself.

"Come on Isabella. Open your pretty eyes for me."

She bolted upright in bed with crazy hair and wild eyes.

"What? Who? Where? I have a tazer!"

I couldn't hold it in anymore, I started laughing. Was there anything about her that wasn't wholly appealing to me? She reached over and clicked on her bedside lamp.

"Carlisle? Shhhh. You'll wake up Charlie."

"No, he left about an hour ago. There was an incident down at the high school involving a heavily inebriated Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie."

"I'm not surprised. What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you. We need to talk."

"Why? It's three in the morning. Normal people with pulses usually sleep at this hour. Listen, if this is about earlier I'm sorry. I never should have…"

"Hush now. We both know it was me who started that. But that is part of what we need to talk about."

"Oookay. Can't it wait until tomorrow though?"

"I'm afraid not. Alice saw."

"Alice saw what? I'm confused."

"She saw what happened with us earlier." She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.

"Should I say I'm sorry?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out myself. I want to be but I can't seem to muster it."

"I feel guilty." She said looking down at her hands.

He scooted forward on her bed so they sat hip to hip and took one of her hands in his. He tipped her chin up with the other and searched her eyes.

"You have nothing to feel guilty for. It was I who forced myself on you. Not the other way around."

"That's not it."

"I don't understand."

"I feel guilty for liking it." She looked him dead in the eyes.

He drew in a un needed breath and rested his forehead on hers. He threaded one hand into her hair and rested the other on her neck. He reveled in her scent as he unsuccessfully tried to formulate the words he should say.

"Thank you for saying so. My experience is extremely limited."

"You're preaching to the choir." Her eyes grew and she snorted as she realized what she had inadvertently said. "No pun intended of course."

He chuckled heartily and sat back to look at her.

"You are something else." His long dead heart warmed at the smile that settled on her face.

"Carlisle, what happens now?"

"I can only see it working one way. We have to walk away." She jumped up and started pacing back and forth at the foot of her bed.

"You decided this all by yourself? Why don't I get a say?"

"Calm down."

"I don't want to! I am tired of being treated like a child. You all think that I can't make decisions for myself. Edward left for my own good. Alice dresses me for my own good. I can't kiss or touch the man I am supposed to spend the rest of eternity with for my own good. When in the heck did everyone else become experts on me? Just once I would love for someone to treat me like the adult I have been since I was 10! Why can't I be an equal to someone? Anyone?"

When she turned to face him tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes.

"Have I ever treated you like a child? If anything the way I kissed you and held you proved just how equal I think you are. That is what makes this so hard. You appeal to the part of me that should have died 300 years ago. I forgot he was in there until you came along. Then I started noticing things. The way you laugh would make scant minutes of my existence brighten. Your easy and unassuming manner made me remember things from a childhood that should be forgotten. Then I started wondering what it would be like to hold you and feel your breath on my face. You tamped down my base nature and found the man hiding in there and he wants you like hell. A part of me doesn't care what it would cost to keep you or take you in my arms and do what I really want to. But I can't. I can't do that to him, not when I damned him to this life."

"I-I see. So you want me just not enough to keep me."

"No Isabella. No. I do want you enough to keep you but the cost to us both would be catastrophic. Are you prepared to lose your life and the family you counted on? I can't ask that of you. What about Edward? I know you love him."

"I do. But how can I marry him and commit to an eternity when I want you too? It feels wrong to go through with this when all I can think about is how your hands felt on me and how good you tasted on my lips. I'm not strong enough to do it. I'm only human."

He wrapped his arms around her and wrapped one hand in her hair and tilted her head back so she was staring into his eyes.

"Then I will have to be strong enough for both of us."

He swept his lips over hers and was gone.


End file.
